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2021-2022 Regular Season:
Cowboys Fricassee
The Falcons And Head To KC For Some BBQ With The Chiefs On The Menu
November 19,
2021 At 11:33 PM CST
By Eric M. Scharf-
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One week after the Dallas Cowboys’ contending qualities seemingly
sprung a tremendous trap game leak, “America’s Team” was set to host
some southern soarers who had begun to peak. Depending upon one’s
viewpoint, there were a couple storylines on which to choke, err,
dine at GM Jerry’s famous football joint.
First-year Dallas defensive coordinator Dan Quinn (and former
Atlanta Falcons head coach) would face his former team for the first
time since they fired him (for results so initially-bright but
eventually, increasingly-dim). The Falcons surely had designs on
exposing “The Mighty Quinns” in the same way Dan’s defense had been
brutally-exposed in his final year in Atlanta (forcing “Dirty Bird”
fans to reach too often for the Mylanta). What goes around, comes
around, and the Broncos had “apparently” shown the entire league how
to ensure the Dallas Cowboys would run aground.
Would Dak and Co. return to their formerly explosiveness and
decisiveness or would a stampede-turned-flock just bring more
divisiveness? Would The Mighty Quinns deposit the Falcons’ adopted
scheme in the garbage bin or just revisit some week-old sins?
Wrong Weather For These Feathers
This contest – from the beginning – was played as if a form of
official and highly-aggressive protest. While the Dallas Cowboys –
under head coach Mike McCarthy – have routinely viewed kickoff
returns as (just-accept-the-touchback) unworthy, backup running back
Tony Pollard chose to head out of his end zone safe space for 27
yards to instantly set the pace. After a three-yard pickup by
starting running back Ezekiel Elliott, a 37-yard YAC attack by
CeeDee Lamb from quarterback Dak Prescott already had the Cowboys
and their fans smelling it. Wide receiver Michael Gallup gained a
lil' third-down conversion action (with 11 yards of his own) in
making his long-awaited return to action, and Dallas was already
cutting the "Dirty Birds" to the bone. While Prescott would miss
Lamb on a 2nd-and-6 from the Atlanta 13, he would tidy that up with
a touchdown toss (just past the front-left of the end zone) to
CeeDee, nice and clean. Lirim Hajrullahu (standing in for "The Leg,"
err, you know who) kept any unwanted special teams drama to absolute
ZERO by knocking the extra point through.
The Falcons – within practically the same amount of accelerated time
– quickly made their way downfield (nearly getting themselves in
place for their own touchdown yield). Atlanta quarterback Matt Ryan
appeared to find wide receiver Russell Gage for 12-yard completion
that might have given the Falcons the intestinal fortitude to be
fourth-down-rude, but a McCarthy challenge reversed the call and
prevented Atlanta from even trying to be THAT
(conversion-attempting) dude. While it appeared that Atlanta was up
for testing Dallas' mettle, for a field goal they would seemingly
settle.
And that was not all, as Atlanta's defense forced Dak and Co.'s next
possession to rather negatively stall. The Falcons would march from
their own 32 down to the Cowboys' 32 before three consecutive
incompletions (including a batted pass by rookie defensive end
Chauncey Golston, one of a few stars among Dallas' 2021 drafting
class) meant Dallas would suffer no further indignation. Atlanta
went from potentially emulating a Broncos stampede to looking like
an unaware Superman to whom Batman once asked: "Do You BLEED?!"
The Dallas Cowboys proceeded, in unison, to say "You WILL!" and the
Falcons suddenly looked quite ill. They would never score again and
– as if stuck in a "Dude! Where's My Car?!" and then, And Then, AND
THEN loop – the Cowboys treated Atlanta like Biff Tannen and rubbed
the Falcons' faces into a truckful of righteous recovery poop.
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The Cowboys would put the pedal to the metal and – even WITH a 28-3
first half lead (built on TWO MORE CeeDee Lamb touchdown catches and
Zeke's first rushing score of the day) – they were not about to
settle. They were whistling like a BOILING hot coffee pot, not a
soon-to-collapse Brandon Weeden-brand, fool's gold kettle.
Suddenly – unlike in a few of their first eight games – neither
McCarthy nor special teams coordinator Bones Fassel had any interest
in pumping the brakes or playing bleed-the-clock docile. The Cowboys
diabolically had no shame. McCarthy called a timeout with 44-seconds
left in the first half. Backup defensive end Dorance Armstrong break
through to block Atlanta's fourth-down punt, and rookie cornerback
Nahshon Wright recovered in the end zone for a touchdown
(resoundingly redeeming himself from being a mental runt one week
prior, when an inexperienced mistake caused a fourth-down fire).
Zeke Elliott would pound in a two-point conversion and – with The
Mighty Quinns ensuring the Falcons had a scoring aversion – the
Cowboys and their fans would thoroughly enjoy a 36-3 laugh.
Speaking of "Darling Dan's Defense," they would go onto collect
THREE interceptions, leaving Falcons' quarterbacks – from Matt Ryan
to Josh Rosen to Feleipe Franks (who wished he had stayed on the
bench, unused and frozen) – feverishly looking in all directions.
"And" "The Tortured Cowboys Fan" would be remiss if he did not
acknowledge the one true mistake on the day that Cowboys Nation
could otherwise obnoxiously dismiss. "Ohhhh, GIVE IT A REST! For the
first time in a loooooong while, the Cowboys played their ABSOLUTE
BEST!" you beg (feeling both confident and happily-exhausted that
Dallas had seemingly-stopped a one-week poor-performance plague).
Still, STILL, sandwiched in-between those three TITANIC Falcons'
turnovers was a Zeke fumble. YES, Yes, yes, the first one since last
year but something that should not become a resumed pain in the
rear, grumble, Grumble, GRUMBLE.
"And, AND" before the game was truly over, there would be a lil'
more action for Dak Prescott, increasingly the Cowboys' FOUR-leaf
clover. After the third of the Cowboys' aforementioned interceptions
(making it eight, EIGHT on the year for cornerback Trevon Diggs),
the Cowboys – with a little 5:00 minutes remaining the third, THE
THIRD quarter – Dallas had one more assault to launch from their
offensive mortar and indulge being scoring pigs. Dak would find Tony
Pollard on a 15-yard screen pass that – following a timely block by
right guard Zack Martin – would leave the Falcons smartin'. Dak
would fire to wide receiver Amari Cooper (who would bounce off an
attempted tackle by Atlanta linebacker Foyesade Oluokun and maintain
his balance on a right-side, first-down looper). Dak – from the
Falcons' four-yard line on a 4th-and-2 – knew exactly what he wanted
to do. He would bootleg left and – with all but Cooper reasonably
covered– he chose to keep the touchdown heft and empty the scoring
cupboard.
"And, AAAAAAAAND" The Tortured Cowboys Fan would be derelict in the
most party-pooping of duties if Prescott leading with his shoulder
like a scoring boulder on the last of Dallas' touchdown beauties.
2019 was not so long ago, but any, ANY potential-risked shoulder
injury to Dak should be a NO-GO.
"B-But his 2019 injury was to his THROWING shoulder!" you head-shakingly
scream (like a world champion scolder). "YEAH, Yeah, yeah (retorting
like Quint in "JAWS")!" Dak is, Is, IS a TOUGH GUY, but he also
knows not to allow scoring excitement to become avoidable injury
incitement.
"And, AND, AAAAAAAAAAAND" The Tortured Cowboys Fan would – once
again – be exhaustively remiss if over the lack of a 60-MINUTE
PERFORMANCE the Cowboys he did not diss. Again and AGAIN, it is not
narrowly about "whether you win or lose," it is about "HOW (and
WHEN) you play the game." THESE 2021 Cowboys have yet to put
together a complete contest, and THIS is something over which The
Tortured Cowboys Fan will always, ALWAYS protest.
"Ohhh, but, But, BUT look how good they will be when they DO!" you
exclaim (perhaps ignoring the idea that – by the time Dallas DECIDES
to deliver 60 minutes – they may find themselves in a "too late"
scenario where they slow-walked themselves right out of it).
Opportunities are created – by SIGNIFICANT action or inaction – and
if a "competitor" stalls just long enough (perhaps because of a
belief they are such super-hot stuff) then, when you need it most,
you have little to NO traction.
Nonetheless (with no further need to “unfairly” digress), the
Falcons – with an entire quarter to go – were already toast, and the
43-3 final score was quite a red-winged roast.-
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Nonetheless (with no further need to digress), the Falcons – with an
entire quarter to go – were already toast, and the 43-3 final score
was quite a red-winged roast.
Misery Loves Viruses And Injury
Cowboys wide receiver Amari Cooper will miss his first game since
joining the Dallas Cowboys (via trade with the then-Oakland Raiders)
in late October 2018. YES, Yes, yes, another key player unwilling to
take the COVID-19 vaccine to help his team keep MORE of their game
day activities nice, neat, and clean.
NFL COVID-19 protocols (again and Again and AGAIN) allow an
already-vaccinated player who tests positive to return to his team
following TWO negative test results which are 24 hours apart. That
player must be asymptomatic or his efforts to return will completely
fall apart. An unvaccinated player who tests positive – however –
must be in isolation for 10 days AND be asymptomatic before
returning. It is a shame that “some” players are still (or never
learning) . . . as two consecutive games away could potentially
leave the Cowboys burning.
Just like returning-to-action veteran kicker Greg Zuerlein,
following protocols (in the presence or the absence of the COVID-19
vaccination) is not where you draw the final line. It is NOT the end
of the protect-yourself (And your teammates AND your loved ones)
configuration. The only, ONLY way a properly-masked-up, unvaccinated
player (armed with the minimum-required quality mask to ensure he is
up to the task) can test positive for the virus is if he CHOOSES to
indulge his humanity, the often-lazy, even horrifying “human
condition” (and one or more of his “WAAAAAA! This is simply too
hard!” moments of weakness), and DECIDES to unmask (in private or
public for seconds, minutes, hours, and on and on) around (or within
inches to feet of) those unvaccinated, positive-testing
(deeply-breathing, heavily-coughing, improperly-masked) people who
must now be viewed as an aggressive fungus.
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Cooper (separate altogether from him being a kind human being and a
quality teammate) CHOSE TO EXPOSE and – now, over the next TWO games
– his decision may, May, MAY negatively impact his team’s fate. If
you are, indeed, SERIOUS about your multimillion-dollar job, there
can be ZERO assumptions that the person right next to you, so close
to you (no matter family, friend, or foe) is not a minimally or
maximally careless slob. DOH!
Veteran (of long-term, managed injuries and) left tackle Tyron Smith
is expected to continue his from-the-sidelines management of – not
complete recovery from – bone spurs in his right ankle for the third
consecutive game. All he and the Cowboys can do is hope he
eventually reaches a minimum-safe pain threshold while his
replacement Terence Steele tries to maintain quality results so
understandably bold (even though Tyron and Terence could not
possibly the even remotely the same).
Defensive end DeMarcus “Tank” Lawrence and defensive tackle Neville
Gallimore continue to (respectively) work on their foot and elbow
with the team’s rehab group until they are cleared for a game day
GO. Defensive end Randy Gregory continues to rehab his calf . . . to
keep it from becoming an injury cow (and how). Nothing over which to
laugh!
Good Quote Or Bad Bloat?
"I think, as I said last week, the reason I wanted it is because we
didn't play a good game. If they feel like that was the recipe for
success against us, then good luck to them." – Cowboys quarterback
Dak Prescott (on how Atlanta’s attempt to replicate Denver’s
successful plan quickly ended up in the can).
“Connor clearly understands the way he performed. We have a very
competitive offensive line room, so we’ll see what the future
brings.” – Cowboys head coach Mike McCarthy prior to announcing left
guard Connor McGovern would replace Connor Williams (after the
latter was flagged THREE more times, adding to his NFL-high 13
regular season penalties, with only 10 of them having been
accepted). Time may soon tell (with perhaps an immediate or eventual
return to action) if Connor is a goner as McGovern (as expected)
begins to pick up traction.
"When you get fired midyear, it’s hard. You’re embarrassed. You’re
pissed. BUT . . . the hardest part is to not be on a team. Man, what
a GOOD feeling to know there’s a whole army of people that got your
back." – Cowboys defensive coordinator Dan Quinn (after receiving
the game ball for devising and encouraging such a tremendous,
one-game defensive haul). Surely, his players knew what this game
meant to their coordinator (no matter how much he insisted both the
opponent and the contest were just like any other, nothing greater).
“I just had to reestablish my identity. I feel like people forgot
that I’m a big mother BLEEPER, you know what I’m saying?!?” –
Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott (“feeling himself” a bit following
his third quarter 4th-and-2 touchdown keeper, yet knowing avoidable
injuries were not incurred, and he is still playing).
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“I don’t think one game will ever define us. So, the fact that the
way we were able to bounce back and be dominant, that should put
everybody on notice. I don’t want to use my bad language out here,
but we don’t want to be [BLEEPED] with right now. You Feel ME?” –
Cowboys rookie linebacker Micah Parsons (who – with his strip-sack
and six tackles on the day – continued being motivational music to
fans’ ears and their ever-increasing desire, in the absence of Randy
Gregory, to see Dan Quinn set “The Beast” free).
Will They Or Won’t They?
After Icarus, err, the Falcons flew too close to the Sun, err,
America’s Team, Dallas enters a Kansas City cookoff that requires
still more, MORE FIRE now that the Cowboys have had their moment to
blow off a week’s-worth of never-again (?) steam.
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Some members of Cowboys Nation will recall a certain 2009 overtime
victory over the team that cooks with hickory. It was a pretty ugly
slugfest until an extra period Tony-Romo-to-Miles-Austin pass
ensured they were 26-20 blessed.
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While the last time the Cowboys visited Kansas City was 2013 (during
which the Alex Smith-led Chiefs held on 17-16), former Cowboys star
wide receiver Dez Bryant had five catches for 100 yards in the first
quarter alone. Will one or both of the modern-day versions of these
teams make the requisite mistakes to allow the weapons of the other
to enter the HIGH EFFICIENCY zone?
The Kansas City Chiefs (led by the often-impressive brain trust,
in-the-know collective of head coach Andy Reid, offensive
coordinator Eric Bieniemy, and defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo)
have won three-straight but – as it was with conviction against
lesser competition – perhaps fans and prognosticators should not
entirely take the bait. And yet, THAT is
why teams, prognosticators, and armchair fans all have different
sets of game day plans. The Cowboys know better than to back off
their momentum against an(other AFC West) opponent that – given the
same number of (unearned) opportunities – could offensively knock
Dallas right back on their head-scratching bum.
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Will the Dallas Cowboys finally be able to not merely repress but
control their metamorphosis? Will Mike McCarthy, Dan Quinn, Kellen
Moore, Bones Fassel, and their players be able to balance their
logic AND rage for a game such as THIS?
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Will the Cowboys – in ALL THREE PHASES – be able to continue to
execute . . . or will their visit to the place where Mahomes roams
leave them screaming “Ahhhhh [SHOOT]?”
Chiefs diminutive-yet-dynamic running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire is
seemingly set to return to action against the Cowboys following
weeks of recovery from a Battle that left him with a Wounded Knee.
Will the activation of “just” another precision medical device
(beyond tight end Travis Kelce, wide receivers Tyreek Hill, Byron
Pringle, Mecole Hardman, and even Josh "Survivor" Gordan) help Super
Bowl-winning surgeon, err, quarterback Patrick Mahomes put another
opponent on ice (and further-revive the postseason chances of KC)?
Will America’s Team be able to continue overcoming the absence of
key players (Tyron Smith, Randy Gregory, Amari Cooper, and DeMarcus
Lawrence) while those still AVAILABLE to them answer their quality
production prayers?
Will the bigger, better contender PLEASE, STAND UP or perform like
an over-amped, overrated, overwhelmed pup? Will all that Arrowhead
Stadium sound really shake the grid iron ground (or will it become
an inconceivable pin drop in the face of a team ready to hound and
pound)?
We shall see. We always do.
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