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2021-2022 Regular Season: Dallas Defeathers Philly To Go 6-0 Against The NFC East And Hosts San Francisco As Part Of A Wild Card Weekend Feast

January 14
, 2022 At 11:09 PM CST
By Eric M. Scharf
 
As has been the case for so many years, the final week of the Dallas Cowboys’ regular season was scheduled to (ideally) involve a desperate battle over a last-remaining playoff berth or the NFC East division crown. While the NFL loves, Loves, LOVES the (practically-guaranteed) national television ratings bonanza that comes with ANY game involving “America’s Team,” the imagined battle to the (sudden) death between the hosting Philadelphia Eagles and the visiting Cowboys was not how it would go down.

Though the opportunity to build more or any MOMENTUM was still at hand, a seemingly less-competitive evening had been planned. The Cowboys had already locked up the division, and both teams were preparing for playoff inclusion. Numerous key players on both teams were sidelined with the pre-tournament combination of preservation against injury devastation and COVID-19 protocol staycation (where everyone – from the still-unvacc’d to the momentarily-unmasked – would sit in quarantine comedically pondering the source of so much “You’re hurting the TEAM!” fan indignation and well-earned discrimination).

Anyway, once the game got underway, it was clear that elements of the Cowboys’ 41-21 victory over Philadelphia in week two would continue to hold sway. Dallas’ 51-26 victory over the Eagles in week 18 even had a 1987 strike season vibe to it, one might say. Oh, sure, the game was unnecessarily-close through the second quarter with the contest tied at 17, but then the Cowboys came clean. Once Eagles’ backup quarterback Gardner “Jock Strap King” Minshew (filling in for a comfortably resting Jalen Hurts) ran out of his always-admirable moxie, Philly had little else but third-and-fourth-string epoxy.

The Dallas Cowboys (and their fans) had loads of fun in the “City of Brotherly Love.” The 2021-2022 regular season was done, and it was time for both teams to prepare (however realistically and unrealistically, respectively) for another postseason opportunity to go deeply beyond towards hoisting another Lombardi above.

Short Shots And Hot Spots

Cowboys star quarterback Dak Prescott threw for 295 yards and five, FIVE touchdowns on just 21-27 while sustaining but one sack and ZERO turnovers of any kind.

YES, Yes, yes, Dak achieved those highly-efficient stats largely against many an Eagles scrub, “but, But, BUT a dub is a dub,” and pay the quality of competition no mind.

Cowboys star running back Ezekiel Elliott gained 87 yards on 18 carries to barely cross 1,000 yards (the annual NFL standard which - due to a 17th and eventually an 18th regular season game - may become a bygone canard). Considering how often Zeke had to sacrifice touches in exchange for a critical blocking assignment on his still-balky, brace-supported knee, fans (some but not all) were happy to shout "He reached 1K alignment! Yippee!"

YES, Yes, yes, had his backup Tony Pollard not been given the night off (to further-nurse and better-ensure his still-present plantar fascia injury would not prevent his pending playoff performance from going aloft), Zeke might not have even played, and his incoming, sub-1,000-yard statistic would have stayed.

Former Super-Bowl-winning Eagle and current third-string backup running back Corey Clement chipped in 58 more yards of his own on just seven carries for an 8.3-yard average. Fourth-string running back Ito Smith – with but ONE touch – added his own four-yard touchdown to all that scoring and such. Even undrafted rookie, fourth-string reserve running back, and HBO "Hard Knocks" star JaQuan "Showtime" Hardy had his "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" moment to shine (in coming online to deliver 26 yards on three carries plus a scintillating touchdown run on the Cowboys' final offensive series).

YES, Yes, yes, the Cowboys’ running backs collected 171 yards of ground game grind largely against many an Eagles scrub, “but, But, BUT a dub is a dub,” and pay the quality of competition no mind (especially with a Cowboys offensive line that – absent left tackle Tyron Smith – had been in a potential bind).

Cowboys wideout Cedrick Wilson (often but not always chasing many a fourth or even fifth-string scrap once starters Amari Cooper, CeeDee Lamb, and Michael Gallup are ready for an in-series nap) hauled in 119 yards and two touchdowns on an efficient five of six catches. Wilson (twice now in the injured-reserve-absence of Michael Gallup), along with Cooper, Lamb, (two touchdowns from) tight end Dalton Schultz, and (one score from) running back Corey Clement brought more than a competitive dollop.

YES, Yes, yes, the Cowboys’ midair men would aerially amass 295 yards largely against many an Eagles scrub, “but, But, BUT a dub is a dub,” and pay the quality of competition no mind (with chunk plays of 37, 31, and 31 over which Eagles defenders were surely resigned).

YES, Yes, yes, the Cowboys' running backs and receivers collected chunk plays of 38, 37, 31, 26, and 22, “but, But, BUT,” slow your roll, because they were all generated against the undermanned “you know who.”

While "The Mighty Quinns" were surely enjoying seeing the offense do their early-and-often part, the Dallas defenders also did their fair share (minus cornerback Trevon Diggs and linebacker Micah Parsons among others) to keep the entire team's performance looking smart (and like one that holistically smothers).

Defensive tackle Neville Gallimore, as well as defensive ends DeMarcus "Tank" Lawrence and Tarell Basham collected four tackles-for-loss. Lawrence, defensive end Dorance Armstrong, and defensive tackle Trysten Hill collected three sacks in the absence of a certain rookie (quarterback-chasing) boss. Even linebacker Leighton Vander Esch experienced a 2018 flashback, producing a timely interception (for just the third time in his career) from the Philly's faulty offensive attack.

Less Small ‘N Cozy, More BIG Trophy

Dak Prescott had such a pleasantly-productive day that he was named “NFC Offensive Player of the Week” for the third time this season (and for practically having his way against a decimated defense that held no sway). Week 18 was the first game of Prescott’s career where he connected on five touchdown throws “and, And, AND” – with 37 total – eclipsed the single-season record of “That Announcer Guy.” “Sometimes, that is just how it goes,” Tony Romo may have been heard to yodel.

The weekly and monthly accolades (which multiple Cowboys – from Micah Parsons to Trevon Diggs – have been picking up in spades) are “WONDERFUL” but ultimately forgettable in the face of the ONE true end-goal. Chest-thumping, myopic fans are known to love them, but the PLAYERS need only focus on the trophy from which all those fleeting paperweight awards historically stem.

YES, Yes, yes, the players, coaches, and even some team executives – depending upon many a contract incentive – can financially benefit from those individual, unit, and team-wide performances so inventive.

One need only glance at the following list to get the CHANGE YOUR PRIORITIES gist.

2018 – Divisional Round – LOST vs Los Angeles Rams 30-22
2018 – Wild Card Round – WON vs Seattle Seahawks 24-22
2016 – Divisional Round – LOST vs Green Bay Packers 34-31
2014 – Divisional Round – LOST vs Green Bay Packers 26-21
2014 – Wild Card Round – WON vs Detroit Lions 24-20
2009 – Divisional Round – LOST vs Minnesota Vikings 34-3
2009 – Wild Card Round – WON vs Philadelphia Eagles 34-14
2007 – Wild Card Round – LOST vs New York Giants 21-17
2006 – Wild Card Round – LOST vs Seattle Seahawks 21-20
2003 – Wild Card Round – LOST vs Carolina Panthers 29-10
1999 – Wild Card Round – LOST vs Minnesota Vikings 27-10
1998 – Wild Card Round – LOST vs Arizona Cardinals 20-7
1996 – Divisional Round – LOST vs Carolina Panthers 26-17
1996 – Wild Card Round – WON vs Minnesota Vikings 40-15

“The Tortured Cowboys Fan” – unlike so many Dallas Cowboys supporters – would squeal with delight if Cowboys players would routinely, MATURELY state: “Those LITTLE awards so cozy are ‘alright’ but DO NOTHING towards helping me and my teammates FINALLY get closer to that BIG trophy and finishing our return-to-the-Super Bowl fight!”

NO, No, no, Dak Prescott neither asked for the award nor paraded himself around as if he was out of his gourd. “But, BUT,” The Tortured Cowboys Fan is not wrong about players, coaches, heck, the entire organization needing to refocus and perform in terms they can mentally afford.

Good Quote Or Bad Bloat?

“Oh, unquestionably. There’s no in between. You really go into it with the expectation of being in the playoff. The league is designed to be 50-50. And, so, it is important that everything is setup to be 50-50, it’s that competitive and that fair the way it comes down, the way you can get players, talent acquisition. The point is to get here you need to have distinguished yourself, and once you get here, all bets are off. A lot of that has got to do with AVAILABILITY of your players at that time. We’re in good shape. We’re in real good shape RIGHT NOW. We should be excited and be planning on it. You don’t have but one winner here, and that’s the Super Bowl winner.” – GM Jerry during “the Shan and RJ Show” on 105.3FM “The Fan” on how he defines success in the playoffs (looking his mortality in the face more than ever before and knowing that anything short of a championship with THIS season’s team would be the most personally-devastating of performance payoffs).

“Absolutely it does, and we’re well aware and should be aware. That’s part of running the show. It really does, but Zuerlein really brings a lot to the table. His leg strength, his touchbacks, his ability to be a threat at length and distance. All of that is there. He has had an exceptionally tough year for him and extra points, but he’s a sound kicker, an experienced kicker, and our guys are all sensitive about how to approach the game.” – GM Jerry during “the Shan and RJ Show” on 105.3FM “The Fan” on if Greg Zuerlein’s frequent kicking struggles have forced the Cowboys to modify their approach (and seemingly reversing his previous week’s belief that Zuerlein was far from beyond reproach).

“I’m from Harrisburg where THE BULLIES get bullied. There’s a bully in every gym. At one point, it’s going to take SOMEBODY to stand up and fight. I AIN’T EVER back down from a challenge.” – Cowboys linebacker and rookie sensation Micah Parsons (explaining how – when it comes to the 49ers’ well-documented physicality and toughness – he will be quick to say “Take a seat, son!”).

"I believe Dak is going to OWN THE MOMENT. He's going to SHOW Y'ALL what he REALLY is about and going to TAKE [THESE] PLAYOFFS BY STORM." – Cowboys defensive end DeMarcus “Tank” Lawrence on his expectations for Dallas’ star quarterback (expressing confidence that – in THIS moment of moments – Dak Prescott is going to be on a relentless attack).

"It’s kind of unimaginable, honestly. I can't really believe it." – Cowboys second-year wide receiver with his perspective on a first taste of the postseason (and hopefully being set straight by the team’s veteran leadership that neither CeeDee nor anyone else can allow THIS gig to become too mentally big).

"Let's say the roles were reversed and [the COWBOYS] were at the six seed, and we were at the three seed. Who's the last team you wanna' play at the six seed? You DON'T wanna' play the Cowboys. They're talented in every single position on their entire team. Like you can list literal stars at each position group. So, it's gonna' be a battle. It's gonna' be THE BIGGEST ONE of the year, obviously, which that's what the playoffs are. And it's gonna' be two dogs JUST GOING AT IT. And I think it's gonna' be a FOUR-QUARTER football game – back and forth – and we're gonna' have to play our best game if we want a chance to win." – 49ers linebacker Fred Warner during an interview with Rich Eisen (providing a dose of humility or safe neutrality in the face of so many confident claims by 49ers fans, prognosticators, and even teammates alike that – against San Francisco – the Cowboys will be unable to drive a competitive spike).

Play Keep Away With Greater Pay?

The New York Giants fired their head coach Joe Judge and “lost” their GM Dave Gettleman to retirement.

The Minnesota Vikings fired their head coach Mike Zimmer and GM Rick Spielman.

The Miami Dolphins fired their head coach Brian Flores.

The Denver Broncos fired their head coach Vic Fangio.

The Chicago Bears fired their head coach Matt Nagy and GM Ryan Pace.

The Jacksonville Jaguars fired their head coach Urban Meyer.

While fans understandably dread the fact that defensive coordinator Dan Quinn continues to be a or THE hot candidate for one or more of those head coaching thrones, the imminent, long overdue departure of Will McClay (for a MUCH bigger but not necessarily better role) could have caused even more groans.

“Could have? COULD HAVE? The person without whom the Cowboys – on draft weekend AND in free agency – would have been unable to nav with any level of urgency?!” you exclaim (trying to imagine WHO ELSE the Cowboys could possible partner so nicely with GM Jerry and son Stephen to continue drafting so well while discouraging the pouring of good money over bad onto the occasional free agency fire).

“You mean former [Arena Football League] player turned AFL coach turned Dallas Cowboys Pro Scouting Coordinator turned Director of Football Research turned Assistant Director of Player Personnel turned current Vice President of Player Personnel Will McClay?!” you breathlessly say. Yes, indeed, and to once again stop the potential talent bleed, GM Jerry has successfully paid, err, played keep away to prevent other GM-needy teams from prying McClay away.

Will They Or Won’t They?

NFL Wild Card Weekend has officially arrived and – no matter the amount of fan screaming, yelling, hype(rventilating) videos, or séances with the dead – it is entirely on America’s Team to ensure by Sunday evening they have thrived (or – once again – allowed their latest playoff participation to be prematurely put to bed).

 
Having a 4,000-yard passer, a 1,000-yard rusher, a 1,000-yard receiver, a 10+ sack linebacker, and a 10+ interception cornerback is FABULOUS on regular season paper, but if you cannot proportionally replicate those achievements in the postseason, they amount to no more than vapor.
 
Playoff games between the Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers have been epic battles – from 1981 to 1994 – with fans of each team licking their chops to find out what is in store. While memories of those battles remain great, neither of “today’s” teams could ever comparatively rate. Fans – including yours truly – who witnessed those marvelous games clearly know there is a big, Big, BIG difference and would become sick at even the faintest comparative inference.

 
 
 
 
“And yet, AND YET” until the latest version of America’s Team recaptures that DEEP playoff-winning gleam, they will continue to be made (by furious fans and provocative prognosticators all the same) to involuntarily carry the dark mark of two-and-a-half decades of failures to finally reach another NFC conference championship game or fulfill the most-holy Super-Bowl-winning theme. For all the super-sized glamor and steroidal endorsement opportunities that come with being many (but not all) a Dallas Cowboys player, (seemingly) no amount of fame and fortune can diminish that shame, Shame, SHAME. Say a prayer.
 
Head coach Mike McCarthy, defensive coordinator Dan Quinn, offensive coordinator Kellen Moore, and special teams coordinator John “Bones” Jones – as well as the entire Cowboys’ roster – (should) know EXACTLY what they MUST do to AVOID being one-and-done playoff imposters.

McCarthy, Quinn, Moore, and Jones – as well as the entire Cowboys’ roster – (should) know EXACTLY what the visiting San Francisco 49ers CAN and WILL TRY to do if it IS victory that their head coach Kyle “Son Of” Shanahan wishes to foster.

Though professional football is the pinnacle of TEAM sport, NFL history is fill with moments where it is the QUARTERBACK a team must turn to as a or THE last resort. Dak Prescott and 49ers starting quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo (AKA Jimmy G, Porn Star Jimmy, or “The Brittle Riddle”) both have playoff reputations they wish to (further) improve. Will it be Prescott and Garoppolo who discovers (or rediscovers) their DEEP postseason groove? Will the reappearance of horrible hesitation or frustrating fragility end up stunting their TEAM’s ability?

Dallas’ and San Francisco’s offenses are both capable of lighting up opponents in different ways. San Francisco’s offense can tap the (intermittent) brilliance, adaptable knowledge, and significant experience of TWO generations of Super Bowl head coaches embodied by Kyle Shanahan. Dallas’ offense – when operating with ALL their starters in reasonable health – can often (but not always) withstand rigid play calls AND still display point-scoring wealth no matter the “schemeless” approach of Kellen Moore (the boy genius with the ironically-inflexible plan).

“W-What about Mike McCarthy? Does his Super Bowl experience count for NOTHING?! Yeah, yeah, I am totally, Totally, TOTALLY BLUFFING!” you offer up so sarcastically (while acknowledging the MAMMOTH impact of Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers on McCarthy’s pre-Cowboys coaching career which – when coaching without Rodgers as his starter – went quite tragically as success was infinitely harder).
 
Nonetheless, the Cowboys’ and 49ers’ defenses both play hard and fast. Will boiling hot head coaching candidate Dan Quinn and his defense be able to put Jimmy Garoppolo and San Francisco’s offense on BLAST?

The Cowboys’ special teams – save for their kooky kicker – have been a breath of fresh air . . . but would “another, Another, ANOTHER” missed extra point or field goal by Greg “The Strong But Unreliable Leg” Zuerlein be too much to bear?

BOTH teams can, in fact, be physical but will the ability to avoid hills – no, mountains – of mental mistakes and PENALTIES be far more integral?

Will a perpetually-loyal Cowboys Nation be more DEEPLY rewarded, or will the Cowboy stop themselves from being awarded?

We shall see. We always do.