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2014-2015 Preseason: A
Draft Result To Catapult
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- May 2,
2014
At 11:45 PM CST
By Eric M. Scharf
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- The Dallas Cowboys entered the 2014
NFL Draft with common goal . . . to pick the best available talent
to match each gaping roster hole. As with any draft for any sport
there are a million selection possibilities . . . and there is sure
to be at least one that guarantees fan hostilities.
The first pick is always preceded by plenty of smoke, mirrors, and
sometimes elaborate charades. Once that selection is in, everyone
begins officially jockeying for position to win and enjoy the ESPN
Best Draft Grade parade. There are trades to move up and back –
causing targeted players to either disappear or answer prayers –
with enough tension to give both team and fan a heart attack.
When the Cowboys officially were on the clock, they had 10 minutes
in which to make or do something else with the 16th pick. There was
plenty of war room soul searching and checking-in-triplicate to
ensure Jerry Jones, Jason Garrett, and Will McClay were not suddenly
going to succumb to someone’s nervous tick.
It just so happened that none other than Johnny “Football” Manziel .
. . who was too perfect for the glitz and glamour of the Dallas
Cowboys and just oozed all kinds of home-grown Texas appeal. The
Romo haters were packed into online forums . . . offering Jerry
anything to draft Manziel as an assumed escape from the “Tony
Turnover” doldrums. Jerry – of course – wants only one thing . . .
which fans cannot provide and that is another Jimmy-free Super Bowl
ring.
Jerry – as fans might imagine – must have felt like Tom Hanks’ Rick
Gassko character from the 1984 film “Bachelor Party”, in lust for
Monique Gabrielle’s ready-and-willing Tracey character. Just when Jerry thought he was ready to go through with his draft selection,
he would be faced with the advice of another member of his brain
trust. Such was the consternation of the Dallas Cowboys’ decider.
The longer it took for the pick to come in, the more prognosticators
and fans alike thought Johnny Manziel would win. Jerry loves his
Cowboys any additional press . . . even if it is for a certain Romo /
Manziel mess.
Suddenly the card is turned in and makes its way up to the podium
and the firm hand of Commissioner Roger Goodell. The words he
uttered were shocking to everyone – with some feeling rather swell
and others saying “What the hell?!” The Cowboys sure did pick a
player with an M and a Z in his name . . . but it displayed within a
reversed frame.
“With the 16th pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, the Dallas Cowboys pick .
. . Zack Martin, offensive tackle from Notre Dame.” Talk about a
kick to the gut that Manziel would feel but one – on national
television – that he would never reveal. There would be no
homecoming for Texas’ latest favorite son. The Cowboys went in a
different direction to get ‘er done. There was powerful irony in
Martin being signed to help “guard” number 9 – the would-be
predecessor to Manziel and the player most affected by a Johnny
Football deal . . . though Jerry contended Romo would have handled
it just fine.
Fans who desperately wanted Manziel did not want to hear about Romo
and his huge contract being untradeable. That myopic contingent of
Cowboys Nation insisted that another season the “Romo Coaster” was
simply unbearable. Jerry had taken so much of their money already
that they figured he would agree with their desire to enjoy new
solution so trendy.
Fans who wanted a defensive lineman also wanted to howl . . . after
seeing the Cowboys unbelievably go with offense and – once again –
throw in the defensive towel.
Still other fans – who understood the BIGGER defensive rebuild the
Cowboys were needing – were very pleased when Zack was selected to
watch Romo’s back . . . and ensure the offense is better equipped to
slow or even stop the defensive bleeding. Day one of the NFL Draft
concluded with everyone marveling at Jerry’s uncommon will to turn
away Manziel’s star power and not immediately get ill.
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- "Hind sight is 20 / 20" . . . and
only with the Cowboys of the past did fans really know where to
place their hard-earned money. The Tortured Cowboys Fan has no new
creative revelations for Cowboys Nation but does fall in line with
the bigger picture crowd. If Romo fails with an improved offense
(and another wretched defense) in Dallas while Manziel
succeeds with a lesser team in Cleveland . . . Jerry may have to
sell the team and move to New Zealand to prevent fans from violently
crying out loud.
Once Day two arrived, the Cowboys tried to set things right with
those defensive-minded fans suffering from bitter disappointment.
Dallas moved up and nabbed DeMarcus Lawrence – a defensive end out
of Boise State – who has promise but may not quite live up to a
Ware-worthy anointment. The Cowboys, however, will take the best
they can get, whether from rookie or vet.
Anthony Hitchens – linebacker out of Iowa – was a pick widely viewed
by Kiffin critics and Marinelli monitors as an extremely poor man’s
Derrick Brooks. Cowboys fans might view Hitchens more as a Dexter
Coakley or Dat Nguyen . . . with less range and speed than is
currently in need. “Little Chef” Hitchens – however – plays and hits
bigger than his size . . . which may open some eyes and encourage
fans to enjoy the game day results he cooks. As long as Sean
Lee’s brilliant body of work inhabits a body that fails . . .
finding a reasonable alternative is a critical task against which no
wise fan rails.
Devin Street – wide receiver out of Pittsburgh – may prove to be the
steal of the Dallas draft. While he does not possess
field-stretching speed, he is deceptively quick in and out of his
crisp routes with excellent hands in which many a(n accurate) Romo
throw should easily land. He reminds The Tortured Cowboys Fan a
little of Marcus Allen (deceptively quick) and Jerry Rice (crisp
routes with excellent hands). This theory may be incredibly nuts or
potentially nice.
Ken Bishop – defensive tackle out of Northern Illinois – just on
size alone would fit the Warren Sapp / Russell Maryland mold . . .
with a low center of gravity and a motor that will not quit. While
he may also prove to be more durable than Sapp or Maryland, his lack
of burst off the ball may, however, be what prevents fans from being
completely sold.
There are other draft picks which have gone unmentioned here – like
Baylor’s Ahmad Dixon – who may be a blast but who The Tortured
Cowboys Fan believes will not last. Pick your favorite action or
horror film and the theme remains the same. Not every draft choice
arrives in training camp with a legitimate shot at a roster spot.
Jason Garrett believes in competition as THE key to what the regular
season roster should be.
The Cowboys – like many other teams – are hoping for a draft result
that catapults them from middle of the pack to a potential playoff
attack.
Will the draftees be refreshing studs or will they prove to
be poorly selected, unwilling duds?
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- We shall see. We always do.
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