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2014-2015 Regular Season: Cowboys Route
Redskins And Dig In For Detroit
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- December 30,
2014
At 9:03 PM CST
By Eric M. Scharf
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- The last game of the regular season
was upon “America’s Team” . . . and Cowboys Nation could practically
taste the long-awaited realization of their postseason dream.
The sixteenth game – depending upon what your team has on the line –
commands a specific mind frame.
Your team has missed out on the postseason and – without a chance to
play spoiler against a team that still has a chance – to play hard
there would be no reason.
Your team has missed out on the postseason but – with a chance to
play spoiler against a team that still has a chance . . . to not
play hard would be viewed by team officials and dedicated fans as
absolute treason.
Your team has made the postseason but – without a chance to improve
your playoff seeding – nothing can be gained by seeing more than one
starter play any longer or harder.
Your team has made the postseason – with further postseason seeding
at stake – and your starters will be all-hands-on-deck with the goal
to try and secure a week one bye . . . instead of taking a week
sixteen break.
The Dallas Cowboys had something extra for which to play, and the
Washington Redskins stood in their way. The St. Louis Rams and
Detroit Lions also had a care package-of-sorts to offer up in their
own special way.
While the Cowboys were visiting FedEx Field to make the Redskins
yield, St. Louis had a chance to stunt the Seattle Seahawks, and
Detroit had a chance to put down the Green Bay Packers. If Dallas,
St. Louis, and Detroit all had ended the NFL regular season, it
would have allowed the Dallas Cowboys to get the bye week done.
Jason “It’s A Process” Garrett was well aware of the maximum
possibilities . . . and he knew the Cowboys could only control their
own probabilities.
Garrett’s Gang also knew that a Redskins team more resembling road
kill . . . would dig down deep against the hated Cowboys and do
whatever they could for forlorn fans who longed for a thrill. “The
Tortured Cowboys Fan” spent a few years in D.C., and “Dallas Week”
takes over whenever “America’s (Most Hated) Team” comes to town. The
Redskins could be 1-14 and – if they are able to just beat Dallas –
it would have gone a LONG WAY towards turning fan frowns upside
down.
Washington had already pulled an upset in Dallas – earlier in the
season – and for Dallas to not have learned their “On Any Given
Sunday” lesson and return the favor . . . would have caused Cowboys
Nation some unnecessary malice and frustrated behavior.
Would Dallas retire the Redskins in The District? Would St. Louis
and Detroit do their parts to make the Cowboys’ game day perfect?
Skinned Alive
It was high noon at the FedEx Saloon . . . and the rankled Redskins
were looking to deflate Dallas’ first round bye balloon.
The Cowboys – in a little under five minutes – drove to Washington’s
17 but could not achieve the desired touchdown lean. They settled
for a Dan Bailey field goal score . . . but well-traveled Cowboys
fans could tell more was in store.
Before “Linehan’s Light Show” could begin, RGIII found DeSean
Jackson sitting all alone in the unnecessarily cozy middle of the
Marinelli’s zone. “DeSean The Diminutive” caught, turned, and was
gone like a shot . . . temporarily giving Cowboys Nation pause in
lieu of an expected win.
The Redskins would score 10 more points before the contest concluded
. . . but what would follow Jackson’s 69 yard jolt would ensure
about the outcome no Washington fans were at all deluded.
“The Han Clan” would advance 14 yards from their 20 . . . before
seeing Tony Romo connect with Dez Bryant on a short pass – otherwise
known as MONEY. Dez took that pass – on his own turn to burn – all
the way for a 65 yard touchdown . . . applying two “Michael Irvin
Brand stiff arms” along the way. He threw up the X and set off fire
alarms throughout FedEx.
After seeing Washington return Bailey’s kickoff to their own 32 . .
. Dallas got back to running the Redskins through with their
offensive sword. The Cowboys would deliver BIG, and Cowboys Nation
would not be bored.
DeMarco Murray would power for 32 yards up the left side . . .
allowing him to break Emmitt Smith’s single-season rushing record
with immense pride. Dez would follow up with a 23 yard tippy-toe
touchdown catch . . . and he would – once again – throw up the X to
match.
Dallas was leading 17-7 entering the second quarter and all seemed
to be in order. They would march back down the field with another
Bailey kick being what Washington was willing to yield.
Bailey – however – was not done having a little fun. He and the
special teams unit lined up for the following kickoff . . . and
proceeded to deploy an onsides kick that made the unsuspecting
Redskins gag and cough. The ball was religiously recovered by Barry
Church, and Washington quickly found themselves in a deepening
lurch.
Dallas took over at the Washington 47 . . . and Romo aimed to
continue seeing their lead leaven. The Han Clan was revvin’, the
Redskins seemed to enjoy defensive penalty heaven, Murray added a
nine yard touchdown while high-steppin’, and it was 27-7.
What could not be ignored heading into intermission . . . was that
Marinelli’s Men were – in fact – giving up big gains to the Redskins
rather than obediently adhering to their mission. The ability of
Marinelli’s Men to generate Redskin possession-enders did not excuse
pretty loose play from Cowboys defenders.
Drawing a little extra attention to some of the Cowboys’ lax
defensive attacks was an injury to promising rookie linebacker
Anthony Hitchens at the two minute warning. The Cowboys would
officially confirm a “mild” high ankle sprain the following morning.
Dallas got the ball back for one last offensive blast and – as soon
as Romo connected with Lance Dunbar – the dye was cast for him to
score an 80 yard touchdown extremely fast. But, BUT . . . Jason “Old
Reliable” Witten – with whom Cowboys Nation has always been so
smitten – was called for holding. The play was called back, with
some fans nearly having a heart attack and others going completely
off their nut.
The first half-ending series concluded with Romo fumbling,
recovering, and being sacked for a 16 yard loss. This result might
have given the Redskins and their fans hope that Dallas – by game’s
end – might no longer be boss . . . but Washington was still staring
down the barrel of their season’s twelfth loss.
The Redskins began the second half with a continuation of 3D
(District Dink and Dunk) . . . but – at the Dallas 37 yard line –
“Big Bad” Bruce Carter and Anthony Spencer “For Hire” combined to
turn back some fourth down funk.
Dallas – on their next possession and with only three yards in the
positive – barely moved the ball at all. This is where the Cowboys’
offense began to suffer from a slight case of the “We’re Nearly In
The Postseason” yips . . . which ultimately prove alright if they
only ran the rest of the clock without any slips.
The rest of the third quarter was a stagnant clock-draining blank .
. . and for those last moment fantasy footballers, the lack of
activity simply stank.
The fourth and final stanza arrived with an almost circus-like
defensive bonanza.
Dallas – with Romo still in it to win it – started at their own 6
yard line and had inched to their 18 for a first down . . . when
Romo suffered a “moment of weakness” – and temporarily reverted to
Romo the interception clown. And who had jumped to action . . . to
snatch Romo’s gift out of the thin air? Why – none other than “Son
of Jeffcoat” . . . Jackson. He is a bit smaller than his famous
father, but he is a plugger with a pretty good motor.
Jim Jeffcoat was known for his own timely interceptions but forward
this story moves from memorable interjections.
Just when RGIII and the ragtag Redskins thought they could get back
into the game . . . he progressed through two incompletions and had
his third down attempt picked off by Big Bad Bruce Carter. On this
day, no defender was working harder.
The Han Clan – on the verge of slap happy – ran back out and
produced another time-absorbing turd in the bed . . . having to punt
from their own 14 to the Washington 42. The Redskins – to everyone’s
shock and with plenty of remaining clock – gained some traction
(assisted by Jeff Heath’s untimely face mask action) making it all
the way to the Dallas 2. RGIII – once again – attempted to deploy
the pocket passer funk . . . but he thought better of it and ran the
rock into the end zone like (he thought he was) a Shaolin Monk.
RGIII’s token touchdown made the score 27-17 . . . and it was enough
of a wakeup call for Romo and Co. to get it going and keep the
results clean. Starting from their 34, Dallas set out to add a
little more. After reaching their own 46, DeMarco Murray picked up a
personal foul in a hurry but – after picking up nine yards on a
couple short passes – Romo went for the gusto and connected with
Terrance Williams on a 51 yard strike . . . which proved to be the
perfect fix. The Redskins secondary – once again – looked like they
had just run a bunch of two-a-day gassers. After Murray managed
another four yards to the Washington 5, Romo tried to squeeze it
into Williams and – then – Escobar . . . with the taller of the two
targets not having to go far.
It did not work, but Dan Bailey waltzed right in to work his field
goal twerk. He – right on cue – added three more to the score . . .
and the Redskins – once again – knew there was not much else they
could do.
The score was 30-17 and – with about three and a half minutes to go
and backed up to his own 18 – RGIII knew he had another tough road
to hoe. He came up short on his first down pass. He went back to
pass on second down and nearly drown as he was sacked by Terrell
McClain . . . causing him to fumble the ball, and Anthony Spencer
“For Hire” was there to scoop and score the Cowboys’ latest
touchdown haul. RGIII must have been thinking “Gee. Lack of pocket
presence is such pain.”
The score ballooned to 37-17. The Redskins saw slim pickins’. They
knew possibilities were extra lean. BUT Washington players also knew
their performances – for the umpteenth year – were going to be
scrutinized for 2015 viability . . . so they needed to use the last
few minutes of the sixteenth game to get into gear, generate a
little credibility, and avoid totally soiling their team’s already
questionable name.
Washington wheeled their offense back out to their own 20. They went
no huddle – one last time – to help RGIII work his way out of his
pocket passing muddle. The Redskins made it to the Dallas 37 before
Washington tight end Jordan Reed fumbled in a collision with rookie
linebacker Keith Smith. J.J. Wilcox was Johnny-on-the-spot to
recover . . . and Redskins fans were convinced that quality
performances by their home team had become a full-blown myth – never
again to be seen in Landover.
The Cowboys had the pleasant chore of closing out the score . . .
when Joseph “The Underwear Vandal” Randle took the handoff at the
Dallas 35 and came alive – bolting 65 yards untouched for the
touchdown and seven more. He must have felt like he was back in the
Dillard’s parking lot with Paul Blart “Mall Cop” in hot pursuit . .
. attempting to recover Randle’s undergarment loot.
The score had swollen – once more – to 44-17 . . . but would Cowboys
Nation dare to expect more? Nope. Washington got the ball back for
the final minute and a half. They predictably went backwards, the
game finally ended, and Cowboys Nation – with smiles all around –
had a nice, long laugh.
Specific to the regular season (which sounds soooo
pleasin') – Tony Romo ended with the league's highest quarterback
rating (of 82.7), and Dez Bryant ended with an NFL-leading and Cowboys' record 16
touchdown receptions. There was simply no debating. While DeMarco
Murray would finish with 13 touchdowns of his own . . . he would
also wrangle the Cowboys' single-season rushing record and, AND
be recognized as the 2014 league-leading rusher with an amazing
1,845 yards (as well as 85 first downs – fittingly tied with
Pittsburgh receiver Antonio Brown). He was definitely in the zone.
And who would have thought "Big Bad"
Bruce Carter would have collected five interceptions – while
continuing to be the occasional target of fan objections? Fans might
think they've gone crackers, but Carter tied for third on the
league-wide list – among so many other talented corners and
linebackers.
The Cowboys – nonetheless – made sure they did not
overlook Washington a second time and risk getting skinned alive.
The Tournament had been keeping a seat warm for when America’s Team
would officially arrive.
St. Louis and Detroit failed to do their part – in helping Dallas
achieve a first round break . . . so it will be THIS week that we
learn if – in the postseason – Dallas has what it takes and can
thrive.
Will They Or Won’t They?
The Dallas Cowboys make their triumphant return to the tournament
for the first time since 2009 and – though they continue to balance
against nagging late season injury . . . they appear to be
reasonably fine and sitting pretty.
The Cowboys are set as the three seed and will host the Detroit
Lions at AT&T Stadium for the late Sunday NFC Wild Card game.
The Lions have faced the Cowboys three times in the past five years.
Dallas – both times – dialed up big first half leads before
experiencing devastating second half collapses that brought Cowboys
Nation to tears.
It would be a real shame . . . if the Lions show up on game day
expecting to see that old gaggle of gawd awful grid iron goof-ups,
because they will not be the same. Detroit will be facing a far more
complete team . . . redesigned and plenty capable of digging sharp
spurs into the Lions’ own postseason dream.
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- This year’s version of Garrett’s
Gang could have folded at the constipated conclusion of game one . .
. but they firmed up, stayed away from the Kool-Aid on most game
days, and have transformed into a well-rounded team with the ability
to get it done.
Ndamukong Suh appeared to give Dallas a pregame present after
“accidently” making sure to dig his cleats – not once but twice –
into Aaron Rodgers shin . . . committing the ultimate Green Bay area
sin. Suh – a serial offender who seems determined to continue his
dirty play bender – was rather timely with the latest moment of DUH.
Roger Goodell worked quickly in handing down a one game suspension
to ‘Kong – for this Sunday’s playoff game . . . and there was no
doubt Suh was wrong.
Suh can-and-will appeal . . . so Dallas and Cowboys Nation must
simply expect Suh to remain part of the game day deal. If his appeal
is denied, it does not change the amount of game day focus that must
be applied. His absence will not lessen the effort of the remaining
Lions they will be facin’.
Dallas defensive tackle Henry Melton – as a trade-off so minimal to
Detroit’s brainless animal – has been placed on season-ending IR due
to a knee injury. A return to the Cowboys for next season would
appear to no longer be in the cards with Melton’s injury history . .
. as he is a veteran of the “Battle At Wounded Knee”.
Dallas filled Melton’s roster spot with journeyman linebacker James
Anderson – who spent time with Carolina, Chicago, Tennessee, and
Atlanta. He is not the fastest player, but he has a wrap-up nose for
the ball . . . and has proven – in the past – to be smart enough to
honor his coordinator’s play call. He would also seem to be a player
who can mind his gaps without a mental lapse. May Anderson only be
required in garbage time . . . with a Dallas victory secure and
participants awaiting the game-ending chime.
Will the lucky and limited-in-action Josh Brent be able to earn his
second chance and – in Detroit’s offensive plans – make a life-sized
dent?
Will Anthony Hitchens be able to perform well enough with a heavily
wrapped ankle before it inevitably begins to stiffen?
Will Rolando McClain be a healthy
return from his recent illness . . . with a willingness to cause
Detroit some postseason pain?
Will Bruce Carter continue to pull away
from his "bi-monthly consistency" with more year-end efficiency?
Will Barry Church maintain his method while taking the bait from
Golden Tate? Will Church help Tate find just a “smidgeon” of
religion – in return for that long past Seattle game day – making
Tate pay for “t-boning” Sean Lee . . . and leaving him nonplussed,
down on one knee?
Will Scott Linehan be able to deliver any outstanding offensive /
dynamic defensive cues from his previous Detroit time span?
Will Marinelli’s Men maintain their mentality – stifling Stafford,
marginalizing Megatron, and mastering their Motor City minions – and
continue to swarm around their Play60 identity?
Will “Romo’s Road Warriors” bring back home their off-site success .
. . or will they allow Detroit to take a great Dallas story and make
it a litterbox mess?
Will Doug Free return stiff as a
tree . . . or will Jermey Parnell be ready – in his absence – to
answer the bell and help give the Lions hell?
Will DeMarco Murray make
muscle-bound leaps over many a Lion . . . and pound their paws so
badly they simply give up tryin'?
Will Jason Garrett’s new-and-improved Dallas Cowboys be mature
enough . . . to make the Detroit Lions be the team that will gag and
cough?
Will America’s Team respect this weekend’s win-or-go-home theme – by
looking just fine as they earn their first postseason victory since 2009
. . . and picking up some serious playoff steam?
We shall see. We always do.
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