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- 2018-2019
Regular Season: Cowboys Play Like Dolts Against The Colts And
Welcome Tampa To Town With Another Shot At The Division Crown
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This edition of "The Tortured
Cowboys Fan" has also been published by the fine folks at
Sports TalkLine.
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December 22, 2018 At 10:53 PM CST
By Eric M. Scharf-
- “America’s Team” was riding high on a five-game win streak with
reasonable belief they had not yet reached their play-execution
peak.
They rode into Lucas Oil Field looking for some fresh horses to tame
but – in performing like disinterested dolts against the
comparatively invigorated Indianapolis Colts – the Dallas Cowboys
delivered a particularly lame.
A premature offseason vacation was an equally-good reason for both
teams to continue their shared “backs against the wall” theme with
three games remaining in the 2018 regular season . . . but Dallas
got blanked (for the first time in 15 years) in a 23-0 fashion
none-too-pleasin’.
While the “Good (But Far From Great) Wall Of Dallas” was desperately
missing (a temporarily absent?) Zack Martin – who forced the Cowboys
to swallow hard with Connor Williams at right guard – it was the
collective low energy and poor execution of their available players
(in all phases) that really left the Cowboys smartin’.
Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott (for the better part of the first
half) led the Cowboys on multiple long, clock-draining drives, but
coming away with ZERO points (yet only down by 10) was an
unrecoverable gaffe. They even managed to drive (gasp) inside the
20-yard line (unlike their usual mode of madness), but a combination
of a blocked kick, (the roaring return of) Dakuracy, missed reads,
and drops just increased fan sadness. Prescott, of course, absorbed
three more sacks in continued part because of the internal stopwatch
he (stubbornly?) lacks. Then, there was the second half. What a
(deadpan) laugh.
“What about Marinelli’s Men?” They would (in-between many a missed
tackle) raise their hands and listlessly say “present” every now and
then.
“But they held Andrew Luck under 200 yards with no touchdowns!” you
say. While the "Hot Boyz" limited (former Detroit Lion and playoff
nemesis) tight end Eric Ebron to one catch, it was talented T.Y.
Hilton and Nyheim Hines they could not quite snatch. Luck was under
no pressure to overcompensate for a normally absent running game
with any kind of risky play, as running back Marlon Mack (truck)
enjoyed a big 139-yard day.
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- “But the Cowboys had Leighton Vander Esch and Jaylon Smith, along
with the return of a healthy Sean Lee!” you squeal. “Van Jaylon”
collected plenty of tackles but not nearly enough, and Sean’s seven
(purposely governed) snaps were too few to help seal the defensive
deal.
“W-What about Kris’s Kids? Did anyone come ready to play?!” you say.
When your defensive front is made to look like a zero-pressure runt,
it turns your fantastic linebackers into objects so blunt, and
leaves your secondary without reactive-enough dogs for the aerial
hunt.
Is Dallas a capable team (fueled by a “Backs Against The Wall”
theme) that inconceivably “took the cheese” or has their success
been one big tease? Did the Cowboys think they could simply coast
and win the NFC East by waiting for the bruised Eagles and battered
Redskins (in their own contests) to slowly roast? Not only did the
Cowboys critically drown instead of acquiring their latest division
crown, but the (still-playoff-pulsed) Eagles punched the Rams in the
mouth, and the Redskins (in dusting off Josh Johnson, the ultimate
street QB) forced the janky Jaguars further south.
(Not So) Short Shots And Hot Spots
"The Tortured Cowboys Fan" is not without compassion, even when there
continue to be various opportunities (from game to game) that his
favorite NFL team is mind-numbingly trashin’.
There is a saying in sports that “your best ability is your
availability.” The Tortured Cowboys Fan sees it a bit differently.
“Your best ability is your availability only after your capability,
flexibility, mentality, and reliability, or you are merely a
liability.”
“Every game is sacred (when you have an imperfect team). Every game
is great. If a game is wasted, fans get quite irate (when it impacts
your playoff dream).” – Monty Python Goes NFL.
Dak spent the first half of the Indianapolis game doing what he has
done so unswervingly between the grid iron 20’s for the last half of
the NFL year but – upon entering the red zone – being unable to
consistently put “Linehan’s Clan” into touchdown-scoring gear. He
drove the bus up and down the field with just the type of plays the
Colts (like the Eagles in the previous week) would fearlessly yield
(with a consistent attack of Zeke runs and high-percentage,
short-to-intermediate passes plus YAC). Field goals (within a scant
scoring theme guaranteed to lose steam) are mere consolation prizes
that can never fill touchdown holes.
Dak did not design the Cowboys’ offensive playbook, nor does he
block for himself, nor does he run routes or catch his own passes
but, BUT whenever he is performing in the absence of even a
semi-acceptable starting 11, and he is still asked – as the saying
goes – to “make your teammates better,” he (more) reliably (than
intermittently) collapses. When Prescott has had to truly raise his
game this season and has had to urgently break from protocol (save
for the most recent Eagles game), he has proven unable or been
unwilling to break the playbook frame.
While it is wrong to overtly continue to compare Dak to “That
Announcer Guy,” there are a handful of basic, “Game Day 101”
scenarios for which most NFL starting quarterbacks must be regularly
conditioned to handle on-the-fly. If your pocket has failed or is
beginning to show cracks, do you begin to (speedily) roll away from
the pressure or do you remain stopped in your tracks? If all of your
receivers are unable to gain separation, do you remain statuesque or
do you keep your eyes downfield while showing some mobile
acceleration? If your protection is holding up nicely with multiple
receivers free and clear, do you continue to (impulsively?) favor
the nearest hot read or do you (gasp) shoot for the vertical threat
that strikes fear (more than a handful of times per year)? If you
mindlessly miss a wide-open read, do you compound that mistake with
a frightening alternative to make your team bleed?
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- If you do not have the wheels (in an emergency) to cook up your own
first down meals (whether your offensive line is hot or not), then
you pull the trigger on one or more of those get-rid-of-it deals. If
your downfield accuracy is inconsistent (and a postseason defense
has stifled both your running game and intermediate passing lanes),
you may actually have to become belligerent to remain a viable
contestant.
Bill “The Big Tuna” Parcells used to tell “That Announcer Guy” all
the time to – drum roll please – “throw the ball away to avoid the
minus play.” Never did Parcells say “take the sack to stall our
attack,” but under Jason Garrett’s watch, the reverse continues
happening, and it is increasingly out of whack.
Prescott consistently takes “what the defense gives you,” but he
should imagine (for his own professional growth beyond Linehan’s
conservative oath) more of a mandate to dictate.
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- The position of quarterback is the single most important role on a
football team. If-and-when your running game is slowed to a crawl
and your defense is dropping the ball, the quarterback is
uniquely-positioned-and-tasked to raise the performance of those
around him . . . unless he (seemingly) insists on a restricted
performance so unnecessarily dim. The Cowboys can pretend their
receivers will continue converting the rigidly short into the
amazingly long, assuming the enemy does not eventually play Dak’s
dink and dunk too unbearably strong. These facts will never change
and (with the postseason once again within their tenuous grasp)
Dallas can no longer afford to view these commandments as unfamiliar
or strange.
Will They Or Won’t They?
America’s Team returns home after falling flat at Lucas Oil Field,
“The (New) Horseshoe,” and they have yet another playoff-berthing
opportunity to show they really know what to do.
While 2019 Pro Bowl selections Byron Jones, Zack Martin, DeMarcus
Lawrence, Tyron Smith, and Ezekiel Elliott all deserve HUGE
congratulations, each of them (if asked) would rather focus on doing
everything they can to avoid offseason vacations.
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- Will Marinelli’s Men be able to brush off last week's stank in
time to make Jameis Winston and the Bucs walk the Jerry World plank
. . . or will the Cowboys continue stopping themselves from putting
another NFC East division crown in the bank?
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- Will the Cowboys prove to be “who we thought they were” in letting
another inferior team “off the hook” . . . or will they go out of
their collective way to ensure Tampa Bay is battered and shook?
Will Dak Prescott be willing (and not just able) to overcome an
offensive line far from divine to ensure his (rising) tide raises
his receivers’ boat instead of sustaining more sacks in his
pass-protected mote?
Speaking of protection, will Zack Martin be healthy enough to resume
startin’ and will Xavier Su’a-Filo be all the wiser with an
eye-protecting helmet visor?
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- Will a sprained foot slow the sneaky Cole Beasley, or will he
continue to repeatedly get open for Dak just as easily? Will it be
too exhaustin’ for the Bucs to chase him, Amari Cooper, Michael
Gallup AND Tavon Austin?
While the promising but perpetually-injured Geoff Swaim was
(expectedly) moved to season-ending IR, will Blake Jarwin, Dalton
Schultz, and Rico Gathers be able to do "just a bit" more than
continue to leave the tight end position ajar?
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- Will the caps and t-shirts remain on ice for another anxious
week, or will the Cowboys dig deep to rediscover their performance
peak?
We shall see. We always do.
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